Eleanor Roosevelt (ellie_roosevelt) wrote,
Eleanor Roosevelt
ellie_roosevelt

advice


Hey, Ellie! My name is Skankeisha and I have a big problem.
I have really, really large man breasts. I used to be extremely
overweight and while the rest of my body shrinked down to normal size, my man
breasts are still huge! I am completely against plastic surgery, yet I
am extremely embarassed by my cleavage protrusions. What should I do?
Do girls really find manboobs appealing? Am I being too
self-depricating? Or should I just get the surgery done and risk my fear of it being
botched! Thanks, Ellie. BTW, I love your sunglasses. You're such a
wise gator.
-- = Skankeisha</i>

Girls do not find manboobs appealing. You should wear a corset to smash them down. -- Eleanor Roosevelt




I've "liked" my friend for quite a while now. I don't know if
I should tell him, especially now that he's in New Zealand on and
exchange program and wont be back until early next year. I am very confused.
What should I do?
-- = K


Oh don't tell him now, whatever you do. If anything will come from telling him, you want to be there to take advantage of the spark. Tell him now and it'll have a chance to fizzle out before you see him. -- Eleanor Roosevelt




i compulsively buy nail polish, use it once, and never again.
what can i do about my unhealthy addiction?
-- = laura


Compulsively buy mutual funds instead. You get to have your money and eat it too. -- Eleanor Roosevelt




Hello, Elanor. (No formalities here!)

I fear that I am becoming a culture snob. Is it wrong to think that
bands like Nickleback and novels by Nicholas Sparks are below me? Why do
I fault people for having bad taste?

Thank you for your time.
-- = Marissa


Nickleback is truly the worst band since Rush. You have a duty to hate their fans. The music appeals to misogynists and Republicans who seek to find validation in terrible lyrics. You fault people for having bad taste because their tastes are a reflection of their bad souls. -- Eleanor Roosevelt




Dear Ms. Roosevelt

There's this girl I am in love with and she dumped me for another guy,
and for a while she told me she wanted to get back together but now
she's changed her mind, but I still love her. She makes me want to kill
myself. Any suggestions on getting over her?
-- = Joulan


Of course she changed her mind. If a breakup isn't forever, it ought to be. Killing yourself would help you get over her. It would also spite her. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
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For the most part, Ellie, you're on the ball as always.

I do think, however, that you may have advocated suicide for little Joulan a bit hastily. I suspect you did so with tongue at least gently poking cheek, but allow me to chip in my $0.02 as well.

Suicide is a very permanent solution to what is probably a temporary problem. I would say that Joulan needs to do two things before taking that plunge:

1) Wait at least 6 months to see if he is still as miserable as he is now (if it has diminished even a little, then it's probably not worth it).
2) Make sure he really has nothing else to live for. Chances are, there's at least something, and if the only problem with your life is that a girl doesn't like you, that's not all that bad.

If there really is nothing but pain and misery with no other way to make it stop, then suicide is pretty much the one dependable cure-all. But if you even suspect it might be a bad decision, then don't do it.

On the other claw, it's a bad decision you're guaranteed not to regret, so the only consequences would be those your death inflicts on others. I guess it depends on whether you care about that or not.
Now, I didn't pay a heckuva lot of attention in Calculus for Advice-Columnists class, but I did learn that "the limit of life as it approaches infinity is zero." (Hard to write it out all nice on a computer, but I think you know what I'm getting at.) It makes no difference whether you die now or later.

There was an opposing view that I did put a little stock in. It said that the value of life is the integral of the equation that charts your happiness. Thus a long and moderately fun life can make up for a short incredible life, and vice versa. And the only meaning of life is to maximize the area under the curve.