This ol' lizard's not barren. And if I were, I could whip up a potion to fix that in a jiffy, let me tell you! But here's the reason Franklin and I never had any kids.
As you know, I'm ancient. I came to my child-bearing years in the 1930s, during the Great Depression. During the Depression, we all had to make sacrifices. Why, I had a friend who didn't eat a morsel of foxmeat for a year! She trapped foxes and gave all the meat to the little school-lads whose starving parents gambled away their lunch money at the racetracks, in the hopes of making some extra cash to pay rent and buy coal. Anyway, back in those trying times, no one could afford to have children. But, of course, the randiness that runs through the veins of men (and women! Yes, and women!) did not cease. Ha! I do not joke. But, there was a severe rubber shortage, and you know what that means. No rubbers! There was also a sheepskin shortage, because all the sheepskin was used to make wardrums and battletrampolines. The only spermicide available was bleach, and well, that hurts everyone and makes for unsightly white spots. And back in the old days, no self-respecting lady would shove a cervical cap or a diaphragm into her netherparts. Girls these days will do anything! I admire their deftness. Anyhow, there was really only one thing to do for birth control, and that was to put it in the hinder. It became quite the trend. Franklin and I put it in the hinder exclusively for years, and then when the Depression was over, we tried it the other way again, and we just didn't like it anymore. Once you turn over, you never turn back, dearies!